For Better, For Worse, Or Until?

for better, for worse, or until?

Ah the mystery of marriage.  And what a mystery it is.   One minute you’re locked in a loving embrace, the next you’re wrestling over who forgot to rinse the toothpaste spit down the bathroom drain.  It’s not until the honeymoon is over that you vaguely remember the minister saying something about things being better or worse until somebody dies or something.  Wait, that was “for better or worse”… “until death do us part”, that’s the way it goes.

The rings go on the fingers, the tuxedo personalities get tossed aside and the reality that this is for an eternity smacks us in the face as the battle lines are drawn.   And yet the remarkable thing is that we should be fighting on the same side. Fighting to support each other instead of trying to prove something to each other.  Love, honor and putting your spouse above all else, those were the vows.

This weekend we watched two movies just out on DVD dealing with the subject of marriage and mending broken relationships.  Very different films, both were entertaining and even inspiring.  FIREPROOF,  from the same team that made the 2006 hit, FACING THE GIANTS,  is a drama with a very strong message.  The film stars Kirk Cameron of the classic television series,  GROWING PAINS, as Captain Caleb Holt, a fireman whose fearlessness is limited to his work.  Caleb and his wife, Catherine (Erin Bethea), are on the verge of signing divorce papers when Caleb’s father proposes that his son delays their separation process for forty days and follow a procedure called “The Love Dare” to make them love each other again.  Don’t be put off by the sometimes corny dialogue because this film delivers a great message with real insight and relationship tools for every marriage.

THE WOMEN, a comedy about a group of close friends who try to figure out how to help their friend, Mary (Meg Ryan) who finds out that the husband she has always loved is involved with a gold-digging shop girl (Eva Mendes).   Although Mary thinks she is alone in this experience, she finds out that many of her friends and family have confronted difficult situations in their own love lives.  She works her way through this rough patch with the support of her friends and family by finding out what she really wants out of life, instead of just living out the life she feels was assigned to her.   The film boasts an all-star ensemble cast, including Annette Bening, Jada Pinkett Smith, Debra Messing, Bette Midler and Candice Bergen.

As someone who has lived through the pain of divorce I am in awe of those who were blessed to find their “soul mate” the first time.   It’s encouraging to find in our disposable society, there are still many couples that with all life has thrown their way, have chosen to never give up, continue to forgive, grow, and remain lovingly in support of each other.

Here’s a beautiful poem written by my friend, Trudy,  about her marriage.  I hope you enjoy it.

After Many Years

by Trudy Nutter

Two hearts harnessed to the same plough,
Two lives linked–you and I,
Faces forward to the future,
Minds intertwined after all these years,
Sharing the same dreams,
The same hopes and fears.

Sometimes the yoke strains, creaking,
And shoulder to shoulder is too close.
Unchained, we still hold orbit;
Planets circling the same star—
Constant to each other,
Whether near or far.

Time will carry us farther down the road.
No knowing what lies round the bend,
Be it joy or sorrow.
This one thing only remains unshakeable:
The love and trust between us
Is unbreakable.

Posted by:
 Linda Hawkinson